Can Gay Men 'Have It All?'

Published: February 25, 2015

The Huffington Post
Andrew Gelwicks
Original Article:

As children, we are told, "Sky’s the limit! Achieve anything – -anything — you set your mind to!" The American Dream — big and bold and as expansive as the outdoors. As a nation, we’ve never accepted our limitations – or had to. But throughout the past 20 years, reality has challenged our preeminence. Our economy has suffered, China now dominates, and other countries’ education systems have surpassed us.

Our national debate continues about us altering our expectations to the new international playing field. This would be an apt time as well to question our assumptions about what we, as individuals, can reasonably expect to achieve in our personal lives.

We all have our limitations: money, time, energy, looks (there is only so much enhancement the face will allow), and in many instances, even sexuality. More particularly, when compared to similarly-situated heterosexuals, can successful gay men really "have it all?"

It seems often that many young men, including myself, will put themselves in a "lesser than" category when compared to straight men. So I spoke to four undergraduate gays at top universities around the country. Each appears to have it all — looks, brains, and success; that seemingly effortless claim on blue ribbons and "head of the class" stature. But even with all of this, does the star of each of these gay men shine less brightly than their comparable heteros’ stars? Does being gay automatically include an inherent subtraction in the everyday math of social status?

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